Do you want to know the secret to a happy marriage?
Today, July 5, my husband and I are celebrating our fourteenth wedding anniversary. Fourteen years ago, in a small church outside of Franklin, TN, we said, “I do.” It was a nice, hot summer day (as they typically are in Tennessee), but our simple ceremony was perfect. Everyone was relaxed, and had a good time. There is beauty in simplicity, and the day was beautiful. Our focus was never really on that specific day. Yes, it was wonderful to have people we loved under one roof to celebrate with us, but our true focus was on every day after that one. While we planned our wedding, I kept saying, “This ceremony is a few hours of our lives, I will not stress out about it and put all my energy into it. My energy is going to be focused on all the days following our vows.” Fourteen years has taught us quite a bit, and we know there is still so much more to learn. But, I think we have discovered the secret to a happy marriage.
What is the secret?
Are you ready for this? Seriously, this could be a game changer. Hold on to your hat as I share with you the secret to a healthy, happy marriage. It is rather simple too (do you see a theme in my life?). The secret to a healthy marriage is actually simple: wake up and say yes. Say “yes” on the days your spouse has walked right across your very last nerve. To serving one another when you don’t feel like it, say yes. Say yes to to building emotional and physical bonds with only your spouse. Determine to say yes to protecting and forgiving one another.
Every day, choose to say “yes,” regardless of your current moods and feelings. That’s it. Choose to say yes.
Seriously, keep it simple.
Of course, you can buy gifts, and all kinds of other jazz. In fact, you can go on weekly dates with one another and work to fan the flames of love all you want. However, if you are not choosing your spouse every single day, nothing else matters. Every morning you wake up, you must choose to stay, choose to care, choose to invest. It is a choice. The feelings come and go, and emotions are ever changing. Regardless of how you feel, if you are not choosing to be present in your marriage, it will fail. There will be days you want to run, you do not have to choose to do so. Some days, you may want to throw in the towel. Welcome to life with another imperfect human being. Choose to say yes.
Friend, I pray your marriage grows stronger with every day. I pray you and your spouse are committed to saying “yes” every morning when you rise.